First of all.....thank you for all the supportive and positive comments, and to my friends I see everyday the hugs and reassurance.
I'm feeling 100% better than I did this time last week. I have learnt that my biggest enemy is MYSELF! Nobody else. It is something I have to work through, and with time my head space will catch up to all the changes going on in my life.
My personal trainer in one of my last sessions with him (he is off to become a policeman), who knows me very well summed it up. "Oh no, Cassie did not achieve excellence in her weight loss this week. She focuses on the 900g she put on, doesn't matter about the 30 kilos she has lost. She didn't get the perfect result this week." (This all said with dripping sarcasm) It helped, and helped to reset my thinking. Thanks Clayton :) After 5 years with him - we have parted ways. He has seen me through many weight loss ventures, and the gains from them. However, at our last workout session, he left me at my best weight loss and on my way to me being the healthiest I can be. He can be proud of his efforts, and tolerance with me over the years, and from that I am proud of myself as well....there I said it. Yay!
This week I have started with a new trainer at a place called Mad Crossfit - a new system, and a new approach to achieving my goals. Put to me by Clayton, it is a new exciting challenge. Have had two sessions so far, and today I was doing shuttle runs...who would have thought??? Am starting with PT sessions and will build up to joining the hour long classes (small 6-8 people) once I more confident and familiar with the moves and techniques. I'm loving it. My new trainer, Donna is great - not too girly either - can't cope with those type of trainers! The whole Mad Crossfit idea comes from the States, and they brought it here. The focus is on building strength and getting fit. They can help with eating etc. but when it comes to the number on the scales, they aren't focussed on that. I will leave the numbers to the clinic. Fun times ahead :)
More positive things - after having an incident with a student's behaviour at school (work), I was pretty down on myself (again) - I posted a comment on Facebook about it not being my best teaching day, and outlined the basics of what happened which lead me to walking out on the class (putting myself in timeout) as it got to a point where I was either going to cry or completely nut off at the student. Didn't expect much from the comment to be honest, but had some amazing supportive and positive comments from friends and ex students which again, put things in a better light for me. Here were some of them:
I think you did the right thing by removing yourself from the situation Cass. And don't beat yourself up about it, you're only human, this k...ind of thing happens to everyone. I'd bet 100 bucks that it's happened to every other teacher you know at some point. Yup, tomorrow will be better :-)
That is why I'm not a teacher..... I would need timeout everyday :D Tomorrow is going to be a better day!
I sympathise Cass and I hope that you have a much better day tomorrow. It's good you took yourself out of the situation. XO