A Blip on the Weight Loss Radar

I'm currently watching "Extreme Makeover" - Weight loss edition.  For those of you who have not seen it, the people selected get to work with Chris Powell in transforming their life and their body over a year.  What I like about this programme is that it shows both the successes and the failures and how hard weight loss really is.  What I like also, it shows the journey is not just about weight loss, but changing old habits, adjusting lifestyle, nutrition, and environment.  It also shows the raw emotion associated with the journey - both good and bad.I am struggling to find it at the moment.

For me at the moment - I'm at an emotional low.  The journey feels tougher than ever and I am struggling.

I have come to the conclusion - maybe I am not caring enough about myself.  My word of the year was FOCUS - I think I have lost some of it and I am struggling to find it.

I'm not sure how I have come to this place.  Some of the events in my life have raised the stress levels, taken up more of my time, and now Im starting to get sick more often.  I need to change this - I need to address my stress

How is the weight you ask? Well I have plateaued.  I went up a little, then lost it and now am still sitting at the 41.3 kilo loss mark.

In the last week - I realised I was in the RED zone.

Looking back now, I was in this zone for a while.  I had a large 1ml fill and a couple of weeks later, I felt more tight than I had initially.  I was eating less (yay) but much of what I was eating was either sticking, taking ages to go through the band, or I was vomiting it up.

Because of this - I started making poor food choices - looking for sugar for energy as I wasn't getting enough nutrition from what I was getting through.  While it was not heaps - it came in forms of chocolate and icecream - they melt and go through the band easy.  I was starting to dread meals - and made me some what depressed.  While down at my parents seeing my Dad for Fathers Day - seeing their concern for how little I was eating and throwing up even cruskits and hummus - stubborn me realised it was time for an unfill.

On Monday I went to the nurse, got a tut tut for waiting so long to come in and got a deflation of .8ml.  Still .2 ml more than before the last fill.  The nurse said I can get a small fill in a couple of weeks as everything needed to settle down and any possible inflammation needed to go.  I could eat again, and oh the joy when I got to eat a beef salad!

I need to focus on my eating and my food choices now.  I have done it right before and I have to do it now.

I also need to put myself in front of everything else going on, otherwise how else can I make this journey a success???

What else is stressing me - well constantly on my mind is my Dad.  Chemo is not doing him any favours and he has become ill with it showing every symptom they listed.  It is upsetting, and I feel the guilt that Im so far away and can't do anything to help him.  Last weekend, being Fathers Day, hubby and I went down south to visit and I can honestly say we made a huge difference.  Mum and Dad were so grateful to have us there.  Hubby did the gardens for Dad, we did brunch and spent lots of quality time together.  I talked to Dad about how I stressed about his health.  He stressed to me to not feel guilty and he was positive chemo was just a precaution since his op.  His attitude is amazing, and Im learning to take that with me and not the guilt.

I saw a psychologist at the clinic last week to hopefully help me address my stress issues and help me to help myself.  I find I stress about everything these days, and I get out of routine and it makes it worse.  Work is a constant stress - with seniors about to go to exams in a few weeks the pressure is on.  There are other more personal family issues, losing weight, exercising more regularly, keeping healthy and I'm not putting myself first.  Anyway, he is great and is working with me to address the causes, symptoms and managing it.  And not judgemental at all!

It is time I do start caring about myself, and I have to put myself in the number one position. FOCUS on Cassie.  It's also ok to ask for help, and support, and as the shrink said don't be so hard on myself - if I slip - get straight back up and get on with it.  One of the coaches Donna at MaD Crossfit posted a great link about making goals, not excuses.  And how to go about it.  I've pasted it below:

Making Excuses

I guess the downs are all part of the process though.  As long as I learn from them and come back up - it will be fine.  A blip on the radar - I will be back on track and reporting more positively shortly.

When the effort pays off!

Just a quick post.  The school ball was on Saturday night.  This time last year, I went to the ball also.  This time last year - I was probably at my biggest, and another couple of months from starting this whole process and five months from surgery.  One year down the track - all the effort I have made over the last year is finally showing :)


2010



2011

Me and Fiona 2010

Me and Fiona 2011



Challenge!

Last week marked 6 months since surgery.  A lot has happened in the 6 months and Im pretty pleased with my progress and how my life has generally changed for the better.  To be honest the weight loss messes with my head a fair bit, and what I see in the mirror is not always what is actually there.  Im still the fat girl from last year.  This gets better with time right?

6 months marked a big fill - 1 mL - definitely feeling the restriction now.  Wondered if it was too much but think after a week it might be ok.

Anyway, with Melbourne looming in about 10 weeks, I have set myself a challenge.
 

Lose 10 kilos in 10 weeks!

A big challenge - yes, but do- able yes!

Kick up the healthy eating and exercise!  With Winter starting to leave our shores - it will be easier.  Having this goal will help.  If achieved in time for Melbourne - the shopping district will be my oyster :)



Keep my eyes on the prize!

When it is a good thing to reach 40!

40 kilos lost that is!  Finally another mini goal.  I went to the dietician on Tuesday a few weeks shy of my 6 month - a - iversary for the check up on how things are going.

She was very pleased with my progress, and even though I said I felt I could be doing better and sometimes make better choices, she pointed out that I was still a perfectionist, but to remember it is ok not to be perfect all the time.  Hmmmm, some habits die hard.  I do feel better about myself now and my progress to date.  However, over the months since surgery I have also had confirmed for me again and again that it is a journey and not a short one.  The lap band is a tool, and as long as you use it appropriately - all good :)  The dietician was supportive of the Paleo eating way as well.  As she put it - can't really go wrong with fresh veges and animal protein.  Im still limiting the sugar and especially the bread. Im the first to say I used to be the bread queen - but now I do not even miss it.

Anyway, stoked to be over the 40 kilo hump.  Now have lost a total of 41.2 kilos (90.6 lbs).  Also now in the 120's - weighing in at 128.7kgs (283.1lbs).  Yay!

As my husband and I are going to Melbourne in the next school holidays, next goal is to get to 50 kilos lost by October 8th.  I have also got a self imposed ban on clothes shopping until then (essentials negotiable).  From all I have heard Melbourne has fabulous shopping - CANNOT WAIT!


So what weighs 41.2 kilos?

Some sort of compressor

Water Cooler/Ice Maker

This much cannibas!

This fish

And this wardrobe!

Again some adult people weigh this much too, but not healthily!

The crossfit is going awesome!  Apart from the flu last week, Im going 3 times a week.  I love it and missed it so much when I was sick.  Such a positive place to be.  Im getting stronger and stronger, and maybe even a little more coordinated ;).  Have managed to get my name on the leaders boards for the Shoulder press, clean and jerk, back squat, bench press and another one can't remember at present - love it! :)

Hope all is well in blogland.  Im reading lots of blogs and have been trying to comment, but something isn't working for me there and it errors and wont let me.  Been happening for a couple of weeks. Can anyone help with this?

On a side note - got assessed for adoption on Monday.  After three hours of questioning about our lives (quite intense), the social worker said she had no reason to not put us forward for approval to go on to the next stage of putting a profile together and going into the selection pool.  A long process, but its going forward!  Cute thing last week at school was that one of my students asked me if I wanted to adopt him - said it would be cool to have two lots of parents :) - oh how the teenage mind works!

The Aesthetic Goal Conundrum

An interesting read and a reality check!

Focus, keep goals in view.

Click below :)

The Aesthetic Goal Conundrum

Still amongst the living!

I am still alive...really I am.  So much going on lately and the blogging has slipped badly.  Not just the blog but there seems to be a lot that I need to get around to doing, and just hasn't happened yet.  Well 3 weeks now until term break (2 weeks off school....I swear teachers are more excited than the kids).  So Im hoping to tick many things off my to do list.

The last month has been pretty crazy.   Not all can be mentioned here in the blogging realm, but when things seemed to calm down, something else pops up.  The WOW and OH MY GOD factor has been pretty huge in some cases.  However to update on some events:

BAD AS

I entered my Weightlifting competition.  It was a blast!  Well run and so many awesome women (and men helping out) and supporters (Thanks Hubby, Riki and Kate for the cheers and support).  In the kilo for kilo competition, still too heavy to warrant even considering placing, but in the overall lifting I worked out I came 10th= out of 31 contestants!  Stoked and with only about 6 weeks proper training, I figure I can do a lot better next year :)  In the morning I got a photo taken in my gears, and compared it to my initial photo - quite a change there, as seen below.


October 2010



June 2011

  
Other pics from Bad As:

DOWN TO DUNEDIN

The next day after the competition I flew to Dunedin (where my parents are) to help look after Dad post-op.  While I thought I would have quite a bit of down time, that didn't happen.  So it was a good thing that I forgot most of my work I was meant to do down there.  My Dad had his op, had his colon resected, and is healing pretty well almost 4 weeks on.  He has to go through chemo once he heals completely as a precaution as there may be still some cancerous cells lurking.  However, he is getting better every day.  Im so happy for the outcome.  It was a great time to spend a lot of quality Dad-Daughter time together.  I took him out for coffees etc and he loved it.  Even helping with a spot of clothes shopping.  I introduced him to the 'Man Chair' outside the changing rooms - he loved that and all the commentary coming from the changing rooms.  Valued memories I will treasure :)

Had a few times to see a couple of friends and got to meet my best friends new bub - Isla at only 2 weeks old, and of course big older bro - Otis - 2.

PALEO CHALLENGE

With all that has been going on, I was still doing the paleo challenge.  Have completed that and managed to lose about 3.4 kilos.  New ways of eating now, still always a learning process, and a constant battle with that sugar craving.  I have lost the lethargy feeling and feeling more awake and energised.  I did stay on Step 1 for the majority but have laid off the bread and grains.  Im please to say bread just does not appeal to me. With all the busy times at the moment and a lot of stress with work and family, I feel eating this way and exercising has got me through it better than I would have coped a year ago with the extra weight and the less than desirable lifestyle I had.  What a difference a year makes.

I made a paleo meal during the challenge consisting of:

Butternut Pumpkin Soup with Cayenne Pepper (and then a bit of coconut milk as put in too much pepper!)

Beef Burgundy

Walnut and Honey Biscuits

Invited the mother in law around and of course husband had some and they loved it.  No biscuits left either!Not so skeptical now....well maybe!


In the weight loss department have now lost 37.4 kilos (82.3 pounds).  At this point when I look for images, there are a lot of pictures of anorexic people - not so ideal.  But I have lost the weight of a giant leopard!

I started proper crossfit classes on Saturday and my muscles are certainly aware of the workout, and Im going back tomorrow.  I did the class which involved a warm up then the workout called 'Cindy' which I scaled to 5 body rows (normally pull ups), 10 scaled press ups and 15 squats - continuing to rounds of that for 20 mins.  Awesome but intense!  This was followed by an hour of lifting, flipping etc of heavy stuff - fun :)

Can't wait for the holidays to focus on weight loss and exercise without distractions.  I now have a new goal in sight.  My husband and I booked tickets to Melbourne for a 2 week holiday in the next lot of holidays.  I want to lose at least 10 kilos before then!  Its just over 3 months away - I think totally do-able. So excited for the holiday though!  Great shopping there.

Briefly on other things.  More friends having babies, another 2 couple friends of ours got engaged, been to baby shower today (I try but really they are not my thing - maybe it helps if you are a mother??).  My husband and I are going for adoption at the moment and go under further assessment in a couple of weeks.  While the process is long, its ticking away.  My too big clothes are piling up - another thing to do is to clear out the wardrobe, and put on Trade Me (Melbourne will be great for clothes shopping).  Except for essentials, I will hold off on buying clothes until there.  Also booked in to see a psychologist at the clinic to help with everything that is going on in my life at present and how to keep on track with eating.  Not sure if I need a fill either - I feel Im on the cusp of one.

Hope all is well with you all!

History of the Paleoilithic Diet

Learn more about the Paleo Diet.