Melbourne Bound!

At last, the school holidays are here!  Hubby and I are off to Melbourne today for 2 weeks of no work and plenty of rest, relaxation, sightseeing, shopping, catching up with friends and family etc etc.  All things come to those who wait - and I've waited long enough! :)

My 10kilo in 10week goal - Did not make it, but on the plus side - I am down at least 4 - 5 kilos on when I made the goal.  I may have been a little ambitious, but doesn't hurt a girl to try though does it?

Aim is to eat the best I can over there - embrace the fresh food markets, and exercise - I've realised a while ago - exercise makes me feel good.  The place we are staying for part of it even has a pool and a gym - No excuses!

Weeeee - I'm so excited :)

Reset time!

Since my last post - a bit more down, but now think Im on the up.  I'm being positive.

After writing my last post, I realised I had got into a bad state - quite depressed about everything and a tad overwhelmed and maybe expecting too much of myself all at once! 

Thanks for the kind words and support from all.  I needed to step back and re-evaluate everything.  Im already on anti-depressants (which have done me wonders over the years - they do help to balance me).  However, I need to be stricter with my food - not neccessarily worried about portion size (thats pretty good), its what Im putting in my mouth.  Since the loosening of the band this has improved - however I still have an addiction to sugar.  I can stop for a while but I keep going back to it for comfort.  But does it make me feel better - thinking about it - short answer.....NO!  It affects my moods, my sleep and probably does not do much for my stress.  Up until now, it has been my comfort, my feel good food and always there, along with the caramel machiatos from Starbucks. I realise - I'm talking like an addict! Its like alcohol, cigarettes or drugs - sugar is my addiction!

NOW is the time for change - after a reality check email from my Crossfit coach - who says it how it is, and stated how bad my skin was looking at an event at the weekend (this clearly being due to reaction to sugar and dairy) - it was time to seriously take a look at my nutrition.

So starting back on the food diary monitoring everything I eat, cut out sugar, no more visits to Starbucks (that will save me money too!)

I am also struggling staying well - getting colds/viruses every couple of weeks.  Went to the docs who have taken blood samples to see if Im lacking in something.  Has anyone else with lapband found this?  I thought I would be more well post surgery, but cant escape the cold every couple of weeks.  This time of term Im seriously run down so also probably not at my best immunity.

Im going to go back the Paleo way - this worked a lot the first time I tried it (30 day challenge).  My goal of losing 10 kilos in 10 weeks not quite the success I wanted - since I plateaued - Ive started losing again.  Im at a 3-4 loss and with 2.5 weeks left - I would be quite excited if I made the 10 kilo mark.   I don't think I factored life into the equation.  I was talking to a friend today and we both said how great it would be to be locked away in the Biggest Loser house for 3 months without other influences/interuptions.

My next goal from this reset is to be at my best for 'barbells for boobs' on October 29th at my crossfit gym (this workout is done at gyms all over the world).  The workout is 30 clean and jerks in a row with a cap of 15 mins for the workout.  Proceeds from the event go to breast cancer research.  This gives me FOCUS - my word of the year :)

Finally some pics from Fight Gone Bad 6 - held at the weekend (with my bad face ;))
I did the womens intermediate version and got a score of 243 - improving from my last attempt.  Fight Gone Bad consists of:
Three rounds of:
Wall-ball, 20/14 pound ball, 10 ft target (Reps)
Sumo deadlift high-pull, 16 kg (Reps)
Box Step Up, 20″ box (Reps)
Push-press, 15 kg (Reps)
Row (Calories)

Psyching myself up for the sumo deadlift

Step Ups

Push Press

Row

Wall ball - trying to hit the pink target!

Straight After 3 rounds - alive...just!

Mmm, some of the sweat and t shirt marks I left behind!

Onwards and Upwards!!!

A Blip on the Weight Loss Radar

I'm currently watching "Extreme Makeover" - Weight loss edition.  For those of you who have not seen it, the people selected get to work with Chris Powell in transforming their life and their body over a year.  What I like about this programme is that it shows both the successes and the failures and how hard weight loss really is.  What I like also, it shows the journey is not just about weight loss, but changing old habits, adjusting lifestyle, nutrition, and environment.  It also shows the raw emotion associated with the journey - both good and bad.I am struggling to find it at the moment.

For me at the moment - I'm at an emotional low.  The journey feels tougher than ever and I am struggling.

I have come to the conclusion - maybe I am not caring enough about myself.  My word of the year was FOCUS - I think I have lost some of it and I am struggling to find it.

I'm not sure how I have come to this place.  Some of the events in my life have raised the stress levels, taken up more of my time, and now Im starting to get sick more often.  I need to change this - I need to address my stress

How is the weight you ask? Well I have plateaued.  I went up a little, then lost it and now am still sitting at the 41.3 kilo loss mark.

In the last week - I realised I was in the RED zone.

Looking back now, I was in this zone for a while.  I had a large 1ml fill and a couple of weeks later, I felt more tight than I had initially.  I was eating less (yay) but much of what I was eating was either sticking, taking ages to go through the band, or I was vomiting it up.

Because of this - I started making poor food choices - looking for sugar for energy as I wasn't getting enough nutrition from what I was getting through.  While it was not heaps - it came in forms of chocolate and icecream - they melt and go through the band easy.  I was starting to dread meals - and made me some what depressed.  While down at my parents seeing my Dad for Fathers Day - seeing their concern for how little I was eating and throwing up even cruskits and hummus - stubborn me realised it was time for an unfill.

On Monday I went to the nurse, got a tut tut for waiting so long to come in and got a deflation of .8ml.  Still .2 ml more than before the last fill.  The nurse said I can get a small fill in a couple of weeks as everything needed to settle down and any possible inflammation needed to go.  I could eat again, and oh the joy when I got to eat a beef salad!

I need to focus on my eating and my food choices now.  I have done it right before and I have to do it now.

I also need to put myself in front of everything else going on, otherwise how else can I make this journey a success???

What else is stressing me - well constantly on my mind is my Dad.  Chemo is not doing him any favours and he has become ill with it showing every symptom they listed.  It is upsetting, and I feel the guilt that Im so far away and can't do anything to help him.  Last weekend, being Fathers Day, hubby and I went down south to visit and I can honestly say we made a huge difference.  Mum and Dad were so grateful to have us there.  Hubby did the gardens for Dad, we did brunch and spent lots of quality time together.  I talked to Dad about how I stressed about his health.  He stressed to me to not feel guilty and he was positive chemo was just a precaution since his op.  His attitude is amazing, and Im learning to take that with me and not the guilt.

I saw a psychologist at the clinic last week to hopefully help me address my stress issues and help me to help myself.  I find I stress about everything these days, and I get out of routine and it makes it worse.  Work is a constant stress - with seniors about to go to exams in a few weeks the pressure is on.  There are other more personal family issues, losing weight, exercising more regularly, keeping healthy and I'm not putting myself first.  Anyway, he is great and is working with me to address the causes, symptoms and managing it.  And not judgemental at all!

It is time I do start caring about myself, and I have to put myself in the number one position. FOCUS on Cassie.  It's also ok to ask for help, and support, and as the shrink said don't be so hard on myself - if I slip - get straight back up and get on with it.  One of the coaches Donna at MaD Crossfit posted a great link about making goals, not excuses.  And how to go about it.  I've pasted it below:

Making Excuses

I guess the downs are all part of the process though.  As long as I learn from them and come back up - it will be fine.  A blip on the radar - I will be back on track and reporting more positively shortly.

When the effort pays off!

Just a quick post.  The school ball was on Saturday night.  This time last year, I went to the ball also.  This time last year - I was probably at my biggest, and another couple of months from starting this whole process and five months from surgery.  One year down the track - all the effort I have made over the last year is finally showing :)


2010



2011

Me and Fiona 2010

Me and Fiona 2011



Challenge!

Last week marked 6 months since surgery.  A lot has happened in the 6 months and Im pretty pleased with my progress and how my life has generally changed for the better.  To be honest the weight loss messes with my head a fair bit, and what I see in the mirror is not always what is actually there.  Im still the fat girl from last year.  This gets better with time right?

6 months marked a big fill - 1 mL - definitely feeling the restriction now.  Wondered if it was too much but think after a week it might be ok.

Anyway, with Melbourne looming in about 10 weeks, I have set myself a challenge.
 

Lose 10 kilos in 10 weeks!

A big challenge - yes, but do- able yes!

Kick up the healthy eating and exercise!  With Winter starting to leave our shores - it will be easier.  Having this goal will help.  If achieved in time for Melbourne - the shopping district will be my oyster :)



Keep my eyes on the prize!

When it is a good thing to reach 40!

40 kilos lost that is!  Finally another mini goal.  I went to the dietician on Tuesday a few weeks shy of my 6 month - a - iversary for the check up on how things are going.

She was very pleased with my progress, and even though I said I felt I could be doing better and sometimes make better choices, she pointed out that I was still a perfectionist, but to remember it is ok not to be perfect all the time.  Hmmmm, some habits die hard.  I do feel better about myself now and my progress to date.  However, over the months since surgery I have also had confirmed for me again and again that it is a journey and not a short one.  The lap band is a tool, and as long as you use it appropriately - all good :)  The dietician was supportive of the Paleo eating way as well.  As she put it - can't really go wrong with fresh veges and animal protein.  Im still limiting the sugar and especially the bread. Im the first to say I used to be the bread queen - but now I do not even miss it.

Anyway, stoked to be over the 40 kilo hump.  Now have lost a total of 41.2 kilos (90.6 lbs).  Also now in the 120's - weighing in at 128.7kgs (283.1lbs).  Yay!

As my husband and I are going to Melbourne in the next school holidays, next goal is to get to 50 kilos lost by October 8th.  I have also got a self imposed ban on clothes shopping until then (essentials negotiable).  From all I have heard Melbourne has fabulous shopping - CANNOT WAIT!


So what weighs 41.2 kilos?

Some sort of compressor

Water Cooler/Ice Maker

This much cannibas!

This fish

And this wardrobe!

Again some adult people weigh this much too, but not healthily!

The crossfit is going awesome!  Apart from the flu last week, Im going 3 times a week.  I love it and missed it so much when I was sick.  Such a positive place to be.  Im getting stronger and stronger, and maybe even a little more coordinated ;).  Have managed to get my name on the leaders boards for the Shoulder press, clean and jerk, back squat, bench press and another one can't remember at present - love it! :)

Hope all is well in blogland.  Im reading lots of blogs and have been trying to comment, but something isn't working for me there and it errors and wont let me.  Been happening for a couple of weeks. Can anyone help with this?

On a side note - got assessed for adoption on Monday.  After three hours of questioning about our lives (quite intense), the social worker said she had no reason to not put us forward for approval to go on to the next stage of putting a profile together and going into the selection pool.  A long process, but its going forward!  Cute thing last week at school was that one of my students asked me if I wanted to adopt him - said it would be cool to have two lots of parents :) - oh how the teenage mind works!

The Aesthetic Goal Conundrum

An interesting read and a reality check!

Focus, keep goals in view.

Click below :)

The Aesthetic Goal Conundrum

Still amongst the living!

I am still alive...really I am.  So much going on lately and the blogging has slipped badly.  Not just the blog but there seems to be a lot that I need to get around to doing, and just hasn't happened yet.  Well 3 weeks now until term break (2 weeks off school....I swear teachers are more excited than the kids).  So Im hoping to tick many things off my to do list.

The last month has been pretty crazy.   Not all can be mentioned here in the blogging realm, but when things seemed to calm down, something else pops up.  The WOW and OH MY GOD factor has been pretty huge in some cases.  However to update on some events:

BAD AS

I entered my Weightlifting competition.  It was a blast!  Well run and so many awesome women (and men helping out) and supporters (Thanks Hubby, Riki and Kate for the cheers and support).  In the kilo for kilo competition, still too heavy to warrant even considering placing, but in the overall lifting I worked out I came 10th= out of 31 contestants!  Stoked and with only about 6 weeks proper training, I figure I can do a lot better next year :)  In the morning I got a photo taken in my gears, and compared it to my initial photo - quite a change there, as seen below.


October 2010



June 2011

  
Other pics from Bad As:

DOWN TO DUNEDIN

The next day after the competition I flew to Dunedin (where my parents are) to help look after Dad post-op.  While I thought I would have quite a bit of down time, that didn't happen.  So it was a good thing that I forgot most of my work I was meant to do down there.  My Dad had his op, had his colon resected, and is healing pretty well almost 4 weeks on.  He has to go through chemo once he heals completely as a precaution as there may be still some cancerous cells lurking.  However, he is getting better every day.  Im so happy for the outcome.  It was a great time to spend a lot of quality Dad-Daughter time together.  I took him out for coffees etc and he loved it.  Even helping with a spot of clothes shopping.  I introduced him to the 'Man Chair' outside the changing rooms - he loved that and all the commentary coming from the changing rooms.  Valued memories I will treasure :)

Had a few times to see a couple of friends and got to meet my best friends new bub - Isla at only 2 weeks old, and of course big older bro - Otis - 2.

PALEO CHALLENGE

With all that has been going on, I was still doing the paleo challenge.  Have completed that and managed to lose about 3.4 kilos.  New ways of eating now, still always a learning process, and a constant battle with that sugar craving.  I have lost the lethargy feeling and feeling more awake and energised.  I did stay on Step 1 for the majority but have laid off the bread and grains.  Im please to say bread just does not appeal to me. With all the busy times at the moment and a lot of stress with work and family, I feel eating this way and exercising has got me through it better than I would have coped a year ago with the extra weight and the less than desirable lifestyle I had.  What a difference a year makes.

I made a paleo meal during the challenge consisting of:

Butternut Pumpkin Soup with Cayenne Pepper (and then a bit of coconut milk as put in too much pepper!)

Beef Burgundy

Walnut and Honey Biscuits

Invited the mother in law around and of course husband had some and they loved it.  No biscuits left either!Not so skeptical now....well maybe!


In the weight loss department have now lost 37.4 kilos (82.3 pounds).  At this point when I look for images, there are a lot of pictures of anorexic people - not so ideal.  But I have lost the weight of a giant leopard!

I started proper crossfit classes on Saturday and my muscles are certainly aware of the workout, and Im going back tomorrow.  I did the class which involved a warm up then the workout called 'Cindy' which I scaled to 5 body rows (normally pull ups), 10 scaled press ups and 15 squats - continuing to rounds of that for 20 mins.  Awesome but intense!  This was followed by an hour of lifting, flipping etc of heavy stuff - fun :)

Can't wait for the holidays to focus on weight loss and exercise without distractions.  I now have a new goal in sight.  My husband and I booked tickets to Melbourne for a 2 week holiday in the next lot of holidays.  I want to lose at least 10 kilos before then!  Its just over 3 months away - I think totally do-able. So excited for the holiday though!  Great shopping there.

Briefly on other things.  More friends having babies, another 2 couple friends of ours got engaged, been to baby shower today (I try but really they are not my thing - maybe it helps if you are a mother??).  My husband and I are going for adoption at the moment and go under further assessment in a couple of weeks.  While the process is long, its ticking away.  My too big clothes are piling up - another thing to do is to clear out the wardrobe, and put on Trade Me (Melbourne will be great for clothes shopping).  Except for essentials, I will hold off on buying clothes until there.  Also booked in to see a psychologist at the clinic to help with everything that is going on in my life at present and how to keep on track with eating.  Not sure if I need a fill either - I feel Im on the cusp of one.

Hope all is well with you all!

History of the Paleoilithic Diet

Learn more about the Paleo Diet.

My Dad

Tomorrow my Dad goes in for surgery.  An update on the cancer.  It seems to be contained as from the CT scan.  However, a length of his colon has to be removed along with his appendix.  He made the joke that he will no longer be a colon but a semi colon now.  Dad humour, but to his credit that was a good one.  While the recovery will take a while, it seems all going well he will be back to normal in time.

My Dad reassuring and settling my nerves before going down the aisle

Proud Dad with new son in law

Father of the Bride speech

I love my Dad.  He has always been the strong one and looked after me.  It is hard to see him in this position.  It has made me aware that my parents are aging.  It is scary.  Now it is my time to help look after him.  This event has truly made my family closer, and I'm glad to get leave from work  - going down home for a week on Sunday to help Mum while Dad is in hospital and then when Dad comes home.

It has been a hard couple of months.  As much as I have tried to not let it affect me at work etc, it has.  The students have been surprisingly understanding.  My mind will be on Dad tomorrow, so hope there is not too much chaos in the classroom ;)

Bad As.....

Weightlifting competition on Saturday.  I can now have weights on all lifts..woo hoo!  Get my t shirt for the competition on Thursday and now have to work out my starting weights and what ones to warm up on.

At the moment my best weights are:

Clean and Jerk - 40kg (88lbs)
Bench Press - 54kg (118.8lbs)
Back Squat -  57.kg (126.5lbs)

Looking forward to it and been doing a far bit of training.  Who knew I would be doing this a year ago??

Weight Loss...

The Paleo Challenge is in Week 3 now.  Have lost 2 kilos since my last weigh in.  Am feeling better (kind of detoxed)even with everything else going on.  So now I have lost 36 kilos (79.2 lbs).  More and more clothes dont fit properly.  My whole body is changing shape as well as getting smaller.  I have gained muscle with more exercise, but am finding some loose skin in places....yuck!  Have definitely found having coconut milk in my protein shake in the morning instead of milk satisfies me more, and it is yummy!

And finally...

If you need a good laugh and some light hearted stress relief.  Watch this!

 Loved it!

The 30 Day Paleo Challenge

Another challenge for me.  In a time where everything is processed including our food, my trainer has shown me a way of eating where everything is natural.  Called the Paleolithic Diet - it simulates what man ate in Paleolithic times (Stone Age) a period of about 2.5 million years duration that ended around 10,000 years ago with the development of agriculture.

Centered on commonly available modern foods, the "contemporary" Paleolithic diet consists mainly of meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, roots, and nuts, and excludes grains, legumes, dairy products, salt, refined sugar, and processed oils.

My gym has encouraged us to partake in the 30 challenge to help one of the members who wants to work on her energy, weight loss etc for boxing.  We buddy up with another member - my excellent inspiring partner is Ann.  We have decided to share our food diaries each day to keep us accountable and avoid the consequences as listed below.

DETAILS OF THE 30 PALEO CHALLENGE

Start Date: May 16th

For 30 days, eating clean – what does that mean?

Are you completely new to primal eating (chocolate Milo cereal for brekkie, sammies for lunch and couldn’t recognise a zucchini if it bit you?) or a veteran (can’t remember the last time you ate sugar and you kill your own meat)?

It’s tough to make changes to dietary habits that may have been a part of your entire life. So take it slow. If you can meet the requirements for an entire week, try the next step.

Step one (Week 1)


• Cut out all liquids except, coffee, tea and water.
• Try to add veggies/fruit to every meal/snack
• Eat some form of animal protein at least 2 times a day
• Reduce, then remove all sugar from your diet
• Take 3 grams of fish oil a day or at least up your fish intake.

Step two (Week 2)

• Reduce, then ultimately eliminate all grains from your diet (oats, rice, corn, quinoa can be the last to go as they don’t contain gluten, but they are still very high in carbs)
• Ensure a serving of healthy fat at every meal/snack (A serving is 1-2 tbs of oil or butter, or 2-4 tbs of avocado, coconut or nuts)
• Eat some form of animal protein at least 3 times a day
• Continue to focus on veggies and fruit, but try to emphasise veggies more.  A 3:1 ratio of veggies:fruit is good over the day.

Step three (Week 3)

• Only consume dairy, fruit or starchy veggies such as potatoes, kumara and parsnips AFTER exercise, and only if it lasts longer than 20 mins or is at high intensity. If you can handle dropping the spuds, do so as they are much higher in carbs than all other veggies and are actually not that nutritious.

Step four (Week 4)
This is for people who have their nutrition extremely well dialed in and want to fully lean out. Try for just 30 days.

• Drop dairy, fruit and starchy veg completely

CHEAT: you will owe your partner $40 and 100 burpees. This is borrowed from CrossFit New Zealand who currently has their own challenge underway. If you CHEAT 3x in 30 days, you’re out!

Achievable?  I think so!!